“Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?”– George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones
“That is the only time a man can be brave.”
I wanted to make write a review about Spiderman: Into The Spider-Verse. The movie was one of the best animated movies I have ever seen and easily dropped its way into my top 10. The movie was everything you could have asked for in a movie, giving a very powerful message to the young audience while also providing one for the adults. If I get around to it, I have a lot to say about that movie but that isn’t the topic of his post.
One of the aspects that I have been constantly thinking about lately is the leap of faith, a concept that was one of the driving themes of the movie.
A leap of faith is an act of believing something that is not easily believed and in the moments when you have to decide to move forward, taking the necessary plunge into the unknown regardless of the outcome. In the realm of relationships, this is telling yourself it is worth it even though doubts and fears plague your mind and that can be terrifying. It is trusting that everything is going to be all right and resolving yourself to accept things if things do not.
I am learning that falling in love with someone is pretty much taking that leap of faith. The feeling of standing on the edge of an abyss that seems to appear infinite. Mind racing with fears and doubts, memories of past experiencing vividly playing to remind you of pain and lost your experience in the past.
Love has a way of pushing up fears. Opening up old wounds. Reminding you of all your previous encounters and at first, I never understood why? Why would I want to think about them when I am trying to move on? I don’t want to think about them. They don’t deserve to be in my thoughts.
But your heart speaks in ways that your mind can’t comprehend and your mind will bring up everything to attempt to protect you from the potential pain. It conjures all of your fears and builds walls to prevent you from getting to the ledge and when this happens, you find yourself pushing through. Trying new things when you are nervous or afraid, expressing yourself in a new and exciting way, and getting back out there even though you know you can be hurt again. Love doesn’t come to those that are afraid; it comes to the bold.
Some men call it brash, foolheartly, suicidal. The world was rarely changed by men who were unwilling to be at least one of the three.– Robert Jordan, Brandon Sanderson – The Wheel of Time
And being bold reinforces your resolve. Each time you push pass one of those fears, you get closer to the precipice. You find yourself enjoying the time you spend with them. You allow your mind to imagine the future with them. You think of them when they aren’t around and your mind slowly shifts. For me, my entire world filled with color.
I found myself standing in front of a ravine known as love. I could feel the winds rushing around me, swirling playfully as if it was dancing and enticing me to jump because your heart is telling you that it will be all right. This rush is exhilarating and on the other side, you see your desire standing there waiting for you with an outstretched hand.
And I jumped without hesitation. I know some who would have stood there, afraid to leap into the depths of being in love. Getting back out there and being single. Taking the leap and pursuing that new career or staying where you are. Whatever brought you to this point, most of us have struck the bottom before and the fear of that experience can freeze you in place. The pain of failure and heartbreak of it all can be overwhelming. And even though we made the climb back up, the scars still remain.
But though I was terrified, I knew I would hate myself even more if didn’t attempt it. I have never been a person that likes to think about regrets. The things I could have done. The things I wanted to do but didn’t. Usually, when I have those thoughts, the next time it comes around, I dive for it. And honestly, what is the worst that can happen? So far, my plunge has been the most exciting adventure of my life, stretching over the last few years.
Even if things don’t work out… the experiences and memories that I have made would be worth every ounce of the pain of smacking the ground. With broken bones, I would probably laugh because I decided to make this dive and I have no regrets. I don’t think you are allowed to have them when you jump. To have regrets in my mind means you never really opened yourself to the unknown. Not to say that you still can’t be scared out of your mind about it. But don’t let that fear cripple or rob you from something that could have potentially changed your life.
I like to think of my experience as web-slinging as I have certainly had my up and downs. I tend to refer to the past. My mind dredges all of my previous attempts at love and how they have failed. Any signs that I can pick up whether it is based on reason or conjured in my imagination acts as projectiles being fired at me to stop my progression. Sometimes I smack these obstacles… hard. Sometimes I elegantly maneuver around them. But regardless of how I deal with them, I keep pushing. I always find myself back in good spirits. The high was attempting it fuels me.
I think swinging across the canyon stylishly is far better than just flying. Just my opinion.
“To love the journey is to accept no such end. I have found, through painful experience, that the most important step a person can take is always the next one.”– Brandon Sanderson, Oathbringer.
So to the next person that just so happens to be approaching that cliff, don’t walk. If you can, break off into a run. If you are on the ledge, considering whether or not you should make that leap, do it! Don’t let your fear stop you. Don’t let others stop you. You will never know until you go for it.
That was my little rant. I have had a lot on my mind lately and I needed to air it out. If you did find this, thanks for reading and I hope it helped.
Until the next post… Sorry that it was all relationship heavy. It was current what I am are going through so that was kinda the inspiration for this one.