It’s not that bad.

Its a rarity that you discover something so beautiful in the midst of chaos and despair. You find yourself so focused on all of the problems that your facing that your completely overlook things that could have clearly brighten your day and gave you strength.

I realized this over the last couple days and took the time to just appreciate it all before I came back to the computer. That and I didn’t have access to it because it was being fixed and borrowed.

So here is my story so far.

I just recently turned twenty-three less than a month ago on the 26th of December. And as I rolled in the new year and the additional number to my age, I have no job and absolutely no money. I have gone through three cars, two lost to accidents that I was victim to and could not receive anything because the culprits were able to drive away. The status quo of jobs in my neighborhood in my opinion has finally reached an all-time low into the negatives and most of the jobs that are available are outside my city limits and beyond.

I’m nearly three months behind on rent. I have phone that is about to be off soon and I don’t know when they are coming to shut off the lights. I live with two other roommates; one is in the same current situation and the other just got laid-off last month.

So I have no idea where my life is going to turn, so I turned to writing as an outlet. Probably as a means to take me away into some fantasy where everything goes equally wrong but with my brilliant narration skills, there is a turn where everything becomes at least bearable to an degree.

But I realize that despite all of this, is still no that bad.

I realize that everything that I said that I was going to do in high school with my best friends (brothers) has come true. At one point in the past, we all worked at the same job (and all ended up unemployed) and it was the greatest things to ever happen to that place. We managed to rent out both sides to a duplex so that we could live right next to each other and hangout. We’re all gamers so gaming with each other was as simple as just walking next door. And we’ve hung out so much I can’t imagine my life without these guys.

Though my relationship woes are tedious and sometimes annoying, its not bad. Not bad at all. Its a relationship. I think that sums it all up in that department. But when things aren’t sour, she is truly a wonderful person and I’m glad to share my life with her.

I still have all the things that make me happy and for as long as I still have it, I’m going to ride it out. I can’t prevent change but I do understand that change when its it fought, leads to pain and sadness. It happens for a reason and I’m looking forward to see the positives in those changes rather than the negative.

So for anyone going through life woes, take a minute to observe and reflect. It might not be as bad as it seems.

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