30 Day Anime Challenge: Day 27

What anime character are you most like?

Time a little background. I just started watching this show a few weeks ago and has been taking my time with it because various factors currently throwing monkey wrenches in my life but from what I have seen so far, the only other character I believe that I am more like is Shirou Emiya from the Fate series.

When I tell you that watching and reading through Re:Zero – Starting Life in Another World as Natsuki Subaru converses and navigates through his new world, interacting and growing throughout the series hit home in weird uncomfortable way, I mean that the blow dealt felt like yanking on strings that I didn’t even want to acknowledge.

From the way often asks for very little or simple things as compensation for the things he does for people to the way he works extremely hard to ensure that he lives up to the extremely high expectations that he places on himself for others, I know all of this personality traits and flaws all to well. I carry with me the same innate fear of everyone leaving me because of my failures, doubts, and self-loathing at times. Always trying to be the best possible version of myself despite not always wanting to be that person all the time. I had this idea of how a person should be, unfortunately based off unrealistic inspirations and striving toward them while yielding some rather positive results I learned was impossible to maintain.

And like Subaru, I wouldn’t show that side of me to anyone. It was crammed into a chest, locked and chained like during any of those fond throwback cartoons, and tossed overboard to the depths of the sea never to be found again. Little did I know that you don’t get rid of things that way and doing that causes way more harm than good. Subaru and I origins and convictions as to why we are the way we are may differ but I feel like we reached the same end point nevertheless.

I am a bit better at my age now, but there was a time where I would have mirrored him. Parts of me still would today.

That is why this scene in season one, episode 1 I Cried, Cried My Lungs Out, and Stopped Crying was an extremely powerful and emotional scene for me to watch, causing me shed tears even though I didn’t have a lap to lay on.

Emilia’s words rung home for me as a person who is always going above and beyond for those I care about, working twice as hard, giving twice the amount of effort, and casting my wants aside to ensure that those I care about are well taken care of. I believe this has gotten worse now that I have gotten in a relationship because I’ve shifted my mentality to family and providing.

I would lying if I haven’t dreamed of a moment like this. Hell, I believe somewhere on my computer, I have written about it. This scene was sweet and awkward, making it beautiful in its genuineness. Even Natsuki questioning what he had done to deserve such an award was something I would have thought about it. What prompted you to do this and why?

Isn’t this what you want? Didn’t you tell me to lend you my land whenever you felt exhausted?

“It’s plain to see that you are overwhelmed by something. But your not going to tell me what’s really going on, are you? I don’t know if doing this will make things any easier for you… but if it helps at all, I’m happy too.”

The way he responded to Emilia’s words echoed in me.

“Are you tired?”

I would never admit to be. Like Subaru said, what kinda of man would I be if I was?

“Do you feel troubled?”

Who wouldn’t have choked out those words to anyone would have given me a sense of comfort like this.

It’s been rough… hasn’t it?

I left out his responses because I felt like that should be experienced first hand. But from Emilia’s dialogue alone, you should be able to grasp what I am getting at.

Being able to relieve yourself from the stresses of the world sometime can be the most therapeutic thing you can do when it seems like everything is closing in around you. To have someone notice that and take the time out to give you that opportunity speaks volumes to how much they care and love you.

I love when little treasures like this is written into piece of fiction because it showcases love and compassion in its purest form and reminds us that we can and should be more thoughtful towards those we care. Show appreciation for what they do because we have no idea what they had to give and sacrifice for one simple act of kindness.

When following this thread of thought, I always go back to my grandparents who inspired me to be the person that I am. They took in a kid on the back end of their lives where they should have been relaxing and riding out their remaining years after already giving their contributions to society and earning their retirement. But instead, they decided to raise not one but two grandchildren. One from the age of six and the other from birth.

I can’t imagine the toll that placed on them. What they could have done with that time had they not be taking care of us. What they gave up to show us that we were loved. But I made sure to thank them every chance I got. I may have been a nuisance, but they knew I had a good heart deep down and I worked hard to always be there when they needed me after I grew up. To give back to them for what they gave up for me.

Subaru for me is the person who is willing to do anything to see those he care about smile. Due to his unfortunately circumstances, his life is filled with hardship and turmoil that I can’t even begin to fathom how I would handle. But even those he reaches the depths of those lows, seemingly scraping his knees on the bottom, he gets back up and pushes forward.

And I think that is where he and I are the most alike.

Thank you for stopping by this humble blog and taking the time to read it. You have no idea how much it means to me and I cannot express my gratitude enough. What characters are you most like? Sorry for getting all real and somewhat emotional but its the truth and it felt good sharing it. Let’s talk about in the comments below!

until the next post…

His mouth is totally moving too fast to caption… lol

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