What did you get in trouble for the most when you were a kid?
Oh boy… Don’t laugh.
So when I was a kid, I used to roam the streets with my mother. My job at the time was to use my adorableness to con adults into allowing me to pump their gas for a small fee of their choice. We would, in turn, take that change and buy food for the day. The was our usual routine all throughout the year. It didn’t matter how hot or cold it got because without that change we didn’t eat.
I never knew when the next meal was going to come from or how long I would have before we were on the move so I was used to scarfing down my food and never wasting anything.
So when I was taken in by my grandparents, I was ushered into a life where food was no longer a scarcity. They had an overabundance of wealth when it came to edible items!
Because of this, I tended to eat too much… Way too much.
Now, this did not mean I was a big kid. My height helped tremendously in curving the gains around the belly because at 8 years old, I wore a size eleven show and I was nearly 5’6. So with joy, I devoured all the food in sight. This was an issue. A really big issue.
Say for instance we would all sit down and eat dinner. But you did not eat all of your food and had intentions on saving it for later. With me in the picture, that food wouldn’t be there in the morning. It was as if it never existed. And even though I was the only person in the house outside of my two grandparents, I would tell them I didn’t do it.
Say for instance you went to KFC and bought a bucket of chicken for dinner. That bucket wouldn’t be there in the morning. All the chicken would be gone. Chicken was the worse food to leave out because it was by far my favorite food. Oddly enough, I probably wouldn’t have gotten in nearly as much trouble if I didn’t lie about it. So ultimately we could say I got in more trouble for telling stupid lies and than eating everything but nope, I have a story to tell!
One fateful afternoon, I was left alone at home while my grandparents went off to do their weekly bowling thing. I was eight at the time. I used to like going but I found out that staying at home was way more fun than sitting at a table for hours with nothing to do but watch older folks throw balls around. Especially if I couldn’t do it too. This evening, my grandmother bought this bucket of chicken for the house. Mind you, it is just my grandfather, my grandmother, and myself at the time.
I ate my portion before they left and she had warned me not to touch the chicken until she got back. She knew I would want some more but I had already gotten in trouble a few days ago for going back and eating the rest of the meatloaf in the middle of the night. Watching anime on Adult Swim without something to munch on was just wrong. I gave a slight nod and bolt into the basement where the cable channels were and they were gone shortly after.
Now, don’t know what exactly came over me that night. But I told myself I was only going to grab one more piece. I made sure that I grab the piece at the bottom and arranged the chicken in such a way that it did not look like anything had been moved. Very clever was I in my mischief. That tactic worked wonders in the past!
However, the cravings continued. I found myself going back and getting another piece about twenty minutes later. Another shortly after that. When I went back to retrieve just one more piece, I realized that I had are nearly seven pieces of chicken and there was only one drumstick in the bucket.
I panicked! How did I eat so much so fast!? I didn’t even remember grabbing that many! I look at the clock on the stove in the kitchen. To my peril, I only have forty-five minutes to come up with something good or I would be in big trouble. But I had an idea…
When they got home around 10:00, they found the lone drumstick and the bucket in the trash. I had cleverly took a shower and got in the bed, pretending to be asleep when they arrived. They immediately started yelling for me to come downstairs. I remained vigilant and did not break character until my granddad came up the stairs to get me.
Downstairs, they sat me down at the table and proceeded to ask me questions.
“Why did you eat all the chicken? Did you not think that someone else wanted to eat?”
To which I replied. “I didn’t get it, I accidentally knocked it over and because it fell on the floor, I threw it way.”
“What? Where is the rest of chicken? It is only one drumstick in there.”
‘I don’t know…” My favorite response that always annoyed them.
“How do you not know? Stop lying to tell us what happened?”
“See what happened was, I was up here swinging my toy sword around defending the house from the demon invasion when I clashed with the big monster and was knocked into the kitchen. I knew I couldn’t defeat him on my own because I wasn’t strong enough so I offered him a piece of chicken. He took more than what I offered and he wouldn’t stop, I knocked it over so he wouldn’t eat anymore. He continued to eat the chicken until I threw it away. That is the only piece that did not fall to the horrors of the monster.”
Guess who was on punishment with a month? This kid. But that wasn’t all. Because I ate that bucket, she made me eat the second bucket she had bought that I had no idea was there. I ate until I couldn’t eat anymore, crying for mercy. The idea was that if ate so much of it, I wouldn’t want it anymore. Nope, that failed miserably. I was in trouble about two weeks later for the exact same thing though I learned not to eat it all but only a few of the smaller pieces.
Thanks for stopping by and reading. I sincerely appreciate it. What are some things you got in trouble for when you were younger? Let’s talk about it in the comments below.
Until the next post… Hide you chicken… the monster was never slain.